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  • not every voice inside you comes ready to speak with words.

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    I know exactly what it feels like to give up, shut down, run away. I grew up with stories that I tried too hard, that I was too much and too loud. I allowed these stories to contain me well into my adulthood. Breaking that container took training and devotion. My training in shamanic practices and hatha yoga has taught me how to stay present in my body, no matter how frustrating or uncomfortable it might be to move through my thoughts and feelings. My devotion to Kali has taught me the freedom of reveling fully in the moment. Now, I trust my voice more than any other voice in the room. And I want to make space for all of the voices in the room. I’ve learned that it is in embracing my frailties that I am able to have a stronger, more intimate connection with myself. I like helping people connect to their creativity through the intimate voices inside of them. I teach people how to listen to themselves better, how to get out what is within them in a good way.

    October is a full, vibrant month for me. It is my birthday on the 25th and every year I turn the whole month into a creative celebration. Last weekend, I finished a collaborative installation for the SOMArts Day of the Dead exhibition; I'm performing as Kali in a dance show this coming weekend; and I am offering a ritual and a workshop at the Brouhaha Festival starting next week.

    I've got two offerings at Brouhaha. Spill Your Guts Paper Dolls & The Fierce Feminine Sex Ritual. I'll tell you all about them in a minute.

    about the Brouhaha Festival

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    In order to manifest you need to cause a disturbance. Brouhaha is a 21 day long virtual festival where we cause a disturbance in the ways things are “normally” done. We’ll disrupt thought patterns, habits and beliefs. If change is truly going to happen in the “systems” of the world- first we each need to be willing to look at own internal “systems” and any places where we may be stuck. 
    At Brouhaha each workshop leader will be powerfully disrupting the way you think and giving you access to different ways not only of thinking but to different ways of ACTING. We’ll give you the HOW – not just the what and the why. We will help you take ACTION on the changes you’ve been called to make in your life!

    Brouhaha intentionally takes place during Scorpio Season. Brouhaha is up and running from 10/22 to 11/11.

    If this festival is exactly what you are looking for to make the magic happen in you life, check outthe Brouhaha Festival.

    Or listen to Denise's preview call here.

    Or get in touch with me, I'd love to talk to you.

    Spill Your Guts Paper Dolls

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    Not every voice inside you comes ready to speak with words. You carry stories that are too uncomfortable or frightening for you to own. Spill Your Guts Paper Dolls is a workshop about really seeing the things within that you may not want to see, and giving them voice. This workshop will push you to feel your difficult feelings and to create an evocative container to celebrate them, to own them fully.

    On this call, we start with a guided shamanic journey. The beat of the drum leads us deep into the earth where we uncover the images that resonate with the dark, hidden pieces of ourselves. From this powerful place comes the mess we need to spill onto paper. By the end of the call, you will be ready to make your paper doll and use it as an anchor throughout Brouhaha.

    This workshop is for you if you want to have all of your feelings; if you want to cultivate a deeper access to your creativity; if you want to spill your guts with no regrets.

    October 24th at 10:00 am. Interested? Sign up for Brouhaha or get in touch with me directly.

    The Fierce Feminine Sex Ritual

    The Fierce Feminine Sex Ritual invites you to inhabit your body exactly as it is in this moment. The power of the Hindu cycle of death and rebirth is something we can access through our own sexuality. This call will start with the yogic breath of fire to awaken your whole body, allowing you to own your fierce energy, to make it a part of your passion and sensuality. Invoking the Kali mantra will help you to cut through the illusions you carry about yourself. A serpent visualization will push you to shed the stories that no longer serve you. This ritual allows you the opportunity to be naked, physically and emotionally, with yourself, and to experience rebirth in your own body.

    October 27th at 6pm. Interested? Sign up for Brouhaha or get in touch with me directly.

    evaWave performance Oct 17 and Oct 18 at Noh Space

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    evaWave is a daring adventure into the Yin aspect, the Feminine, without invalidating the Yang balance: Rhythm, Birth, Kali Red Goddess, Tara Blue Sky Goddess, spider, frog, squirrel, bird, brutality of war and trauma, seaweed, Anthropocene age, freedom hieroglyph, and the arc of innocence, when day follows night…

    evaWave is a palindrome, wherein the beginning and the end have the same possibility as a starting point, and where the elements of the first half compliment their opposites in the second half. It is the first staged production of “Dance Echo In Reverse”, the MPOWERDANCE Global Dance Project for 2015.

    For tickets, go here.

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  • make art to have your feelings, to give them a voice, to spill your guts

    I want to feel all of my feelings.

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    from you keep me warm, a daily practice

    I’m good at feeling the juicy ones, the sexy ones, the tender ones. There was usually this flip side to that ecstasy. Myopicly in love and the luckiest woman in the world one moment, I would freeze my lover out of the story as soon as things got uncomfortable. I spent considerable energy mapping out all the different ways things might fall apart.

    I tried to break up nine times in ten months with the first man I dated after a 5-year relationship with a woman. He wanted polyamory, I didn’t. And every time I walked the five blocks to his house to end things he convinced me that “I was hard to be in partnership with” and that he was willing to work through this difficulty with me. There are so many threads to that particular story.

    The thread that matters to me most in this moment, the why I am telling you about itI didn’t trust my voice more than any other voice in the room. I didn’t want to be in this relationship. And I was attached to a lot of the stories of the relationship—my fear that no one else would want to be with me, that he was my last chance to be in partnership, that fun sex and not being alone were worth all the drama and misery. This story isn’t about what my ex-boyfriend did to me. It’s about all the self-limiting stories I had about myself that had me, time and again, making the choice to stay with him.

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    paper dolls to spill my guts

    It isn’t lost on me that my “freezing” was some particularly good self-protection given a few of the romantic scenarios I’ve chosen. I chose them. They didn’t choose me. What is different now? I understand to my bones that I am responsible for what shows up in my life. It isn’t my fault and I’m the one to do something about it.*

    One heartbreakingly curious thing I’ve noticed about myself—all that heartache and drama wiped me out so completely I had little time or energy leftover to give to my creative practice. When I show up on the daily to making things, magic happens. I make cool things, opportunities come my way, I meet interesting people, I get out of my own story and start moving through the world in a good way. Why do I fall away from my really good practices when I get overwhelmed and unhappy? Because these practices force me to have all my feelings. And at the time, I wasn’t equipped. I was better at eating ice cream to freeze them out and get numb.

    Now, four years later, my creative practice is an essential part of my being human.* I make art to have my feelings, to give them a voice, to spill my guts with no restrictions, no censoring, no restraint. I love the moments when time ceases to matter, when I am entirely in my moment and every choice moves fluidly without interrupting myself with over-thinking or self-consciousness. And I can see the difference in the work when I’m moving in flow.

    I’ve got something I want to share with you.

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    two women who I collaborated with this summer.

    A few of you know that I’ve been an art teacher to high school students for fifteen years. What I’m best at—helping my students bring their ideas into form in their way, with their voice. Most of us benefit from a little help in getting started, in following through. I certainly do.

    Last May, I started to work with adults on creativity. I’ve been working with three dedicated individuals to help them get in touch with their intimate voice, to offer a space to talk about what comes up when you show up on the daily to an excavating practice; and to push them into and through those uncomfortable, revelatory truths that helps you get to the work you want to make. As I finish working with these inspiring individuals, I am ready to work with three new people. Are your curious?

    The creativity circle is for you if you want to listen to yourself better. Get out what is within you. It’s about being seen and vulnerable; it's about seeing yourself more clearly. It’s about being held gently while having accountability.

    I went to fancy pants contemporary art school. Critiques were a heart-wrenching and excavating process. You want that? I can give it to you. Sometimes that helps you get to the goods. And more often, showing up every day and identifying for yourself what works and what doesn’t work is what you need. Think of the creativity circle as a boost to help you show up to yourself. It’s not about being an “artist”. It’s about finding a deeper connection to the intimate voices inside of you that want to be expressed.

    Curious about how this works and what I can do for you? Email me so we can have a free twenty-minute phone consultation. We’ll talk about where you are at and what you want.

    let's make the magic happen, 
    Allyson

    *Wisdom of Dave Mochel, well-being centered coach and awesome fella.

    *When I use the word human, I mean all the stuff--the anger and the sadness and the frustration and the joy and the silliness and the orgasms. All of it.