if we only allow it
This series is a story told in stages. I took notes on 13 conversations about self-control and integrity. I gleaned small wisdoms in how our brains work so differently, in how much we are not alone if we only allow it of ourselves. And these gems about restraint, discipline, desire, and community shaped the experience of how I made this series. With various tools in hand, I started with expressive mark-making; I started with a letting loose of the controls I normally put into place in the act of making. And then I piled on the masks—sander, spray enamel, tape, frosted vellum—in search of a balance between the expressive and the contained. This series, with its accompanying gift of a deadline, transformed me. Instead of obsessing about the complications and intrigues of everyday life, I took refuge in thinking about what we talk about when we talk about self-control. And when we search for ways to do the things we don’t want to do; when we try to stop ourselves from doing the things we want to; when we try to fit in, or stand out. For each of us it is different. The cookie, the drink, the conversation, the day job, the brain that fires differently, the battle with your very nature.